pinkbutterflycs (pinkbutterflycs) wrote in alone_i_cry,

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WHY WHY WHY why do i make myself sad. Why do I choose to make myself sad. TEARS ARE FILLING MY EYES! I want something I will never have.... well maybe one day. Why to I choose to compare myself with her? I'm happy with myself. Excpet when I think about her. Why why oh why do I do this to myself!
I'll never be as good as her... even though I don't even like her. She's so stuck up an full of herself. Ewww I don't even think she's pretty, but there is something she has that I don't. UMMMMMM "sign" I don't even no why I want too. huh???

I FEEL LIKE SHIT! T-TOTAL SHIT. GAH WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. EVERYTHING APPARENTLY. OH MAN. WHY DO I DO THIS. WHY GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR THIS FUCKING SUCKS. I GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING. I don't want to go home, but being here isn't that much better. oh well no one cares anyway. I think I might be happier if i were a dirty whore. At least that way i would be living up to my family's expectations. Half of them think I am. oh well.... I think I'll spend the rest of my life wondering why. why i am the person I am and why that isn't good enough. and why i didn't become a dirty whore like everyone I know. I think sometimes if I had been a dirty whore...I'D be happy.... well i doubt I'd be here.. most likely not in college. Everyone thinks I made the biggest mistake by going to college... i thought that was what 18 year olds did.... I guess I should be pregnant and engaged to some guy i don't love. I don't know.... sometimes I feel that doing the right thing and being a good person has gotten me no where.... no where but depressed, lonely, heart broken, and pondering why I'm here.

I'm happy with myself.... no one else is. I really don't care what other people think.. but living life with no one to share it with sucks!

Oh dear who cares anyways
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