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05:10pm 22/04/2006
mood: suicidal as hell
I feel like total shit. I haven't cut.. yet. But god do I ever need to. I can feel myself falling back into old habits... old emotions. I feel it consuming me again, and the voices have started up agian. Still fuckin have those stupid images every time i close my eyes... it's killing me. I feel like I'm going insane again. Feel like I need to die so I don't hurt anyone else. Thing will get better though.. i hope. Peace all.

(21 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

04:46pm 22/04/2006
  I once was better.  

(1 dream of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

11:31pm 02/04/2006
mood: suicidal
Hello all,

I'm new to this group thing. Umm, I'm 13, my name is katrina, I've been diagnosed with severe depression, psychois, and social anxiety. I SI (self-injure), ahve been since I was 11.. mostly cutting, but some burning and scratching.

Right now, I'm really suicidal, I know where my dads gun is at, and that doesn't help much. I don't really know what to do, I hurt so much... it's unbearable.

Well, yeah. That's all. Peace all.

(4 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

11:36pm 17/04/2005
  god.. i dont wanna go to school tomorow.. tommorow my boyfriend is breaking up with me. hes cheating on me with his ex gf currently. i loved him so much.. i still do..its so fucked up that hes doing this to me.. i have done everything for him.. he completely stabbed me in the back.. he acts like everthing is perfect. i took him to my choir banquet withme last night. and he told me how much he loved me and all this bullshit.. and hes screwing that girl as we speak right now..

irony has ruined us all


(look in my eyes and what do you see?)

you can't change things 
11:33pm 04/03/2005
mood: crushed
well have you ever just one day had an epiphany & realized you were taking things the wrong way... you perceived them different from reality.


realizing that the person you like feels that way about someone else

I'm going to be 19 years old in 4 days... & i've never been good enough.
it kills me to know that all the horrible mean, slutty, cheating ect girls in the world can get a guy... but i can't

I'm nice... not high maintance... not too ugly... could stand to loose a little weight... i would never cheat... and i know how to treat a guy

but apparently i'm doing something wrong I feel like such a loser... i'm always good enough for the friend... but never anymore

Not that i think i need a guy or that i need someone to validate me or anything like that.... but I'm lonely

I love making ppl happy. That feeling you get when you do something for someone and they are happy. that person you know sooo much about. you are always there for each other

I'm coming to except the fact that i've never been good enough and never will be... it's hard but i'll i have too

i can't change things i have to live with them... and well that's the hard facts

(2 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

01:36pm 01/01/2005
  i have a new livejournal name if anyone wants to add me its : _systemofadown_  

(look in my eyes and what do you see?)

12:15am 13/12/2004
mood: crushed
WHY WHY WHY why do i make myself sad. Why do I choose to make myself sad. TEARS ARE FILLING MY EYES! I want something I will never have.... well maybe one day. Why to I choose to compare myself with her? I'm happy with myself. Excpet when I think about her. Why why oh why do I do this to myself!
I'll never be as good as her... even though I don't even like her. She's so stuck up an full of herself. Ewww I don't even think she's pretty, but there is something she has that I don't. UMMMMMM "sign" I don't even no why I want too. huh???

I FEEL LIKE SHIT! T-TOTAL SHIT. GAH WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. EVERYTHING APPARENTLY. OH MAN. WHY DO I DO THIS. WHY GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR THIS FUCKING SUCKS. I GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING. I don't want to go home, but being here isn't that much better. oh well no one cares anyway. I think I might be happier if i were a dirty whore. At least that way i would be living up to my family's expectations. Half of them think I am. oh well.... I think I'll spend the rest of my life wondering why. why i am the person I am and why that isn't good enough. and why i didn't become a dirty whore like everyone I know. I think sometimes if I had been a dirty whore...I'D be happy.... well i doubt I'd be here.. most likely not in college. Everyone thinks I made the biggest mistake by going to college... i thought that was what 18 year olds did.... I guess I should be pregnant and engaged to some guy i don't love. I don't know.... sometimes I feel that doing the right thing and being a good person has gotten me no where.... no where but depressed, lonely, heart broken, and pondering why I'm here.

I'm happy with myself.... no one else is. I really don't care what other people think.. but living life with no one to share it with sucks!

Oh dear who cares anyways

(9 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

12:09am 13/12/2004
mood: crushed
Hi, I'm new! I found this community through a search. I'm alone in my empty apartment crying. I thinks it's great to find a community like this!

(look in my eyes and what do you see?)

05:33pm 11/12/2004

Your invited to join areyoujiffy
Join and apply!

(look in my eyes and what do you see?)

At Long Last 
08:54pm 09/12/2004
  At long last I have found a community that I feel I can post in...

Crying seems to have been one thing do not too well, but often.... No one ever sees me cry.. only once did someone see cry, and that was Candace.. One of my closest friends, I dont feel so close to her nowadays... ...

(look in my eyes and what do you see?)

04:12pm 08/12/2004

JOIN NOW!!!!!!!!!!

(look in my eyes and what do you see?)

02:41am 21/10/2004
mood: *The Used*-"Let it Bleed"
Hii everyone,

My name is Tanya.
Im 16 years old.
I found this community by a search.
I'm glad I found this community,
because now I have ppl to talk to that really understand me.
I have been really upset laltley..well for awile now.
My life sucks.
Its so hard.

But ne ways enough bout me
Who is everyone in here??
Leave me comments I would love to talk to you guyz..


(7 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

09:09pm 14/10/2004
mood: sad
Ok, I am Nikki and I just found this place and decided to join because I am going through some hard times and I just need somebody to talk to. And there are people that want to talk to someone. Believe me, I am trustworthy so if you ever want to talk I am here. I am not gonna join this community to start off by throwing my problems out right now. But if anybody will add me... that doesnt mind talking to a loser like me then go ahead. I like getting things off my chest.

<3 Nikki

(4 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

just joined 
07:34pm 06/09/2004
mood: lonely
well i just joined
i feel i need someone to talk to about how i feel because im afraid to tell ppl who i know...they'll just be like "get over it, its no big deal"..well theres a poem i wrote. the other ones just a quiz

I Have Created My Own MonsterCollapse )

Why Do I Cry?Collapse )

(10 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

06:43pm 03/09/2004
  Hi every peoples!!!! im cassie. hi.  

(1 dream of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)

Help me...please....='( 
06:49pm 27/08/2004
mood: crushed
I think Sarah, Jesse, Johanthan, and Andrea think Im liers. =( I didnt lie about anything...Johanthan posted about how he felt about it put I cant find that post anymore...*sigh* I dont know what to do...Sarah told me that I couldnt come over, she probley wanted to tell me she didnt want me over...I dont blame her...God..I dont know what to do...Im going to try and call her...

(2 dreams of being with you | look in my eyes and what do you see?)